Step 9 — Made Amends

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

Amends are not apologies. An apology says 'I'm sorry.' An amend says 'I was wrong, here is what I'm prepared to do about it, and here is how my behavior will change.' One is a feeling. The other is a commitment.

📖Big Book: pp. 76–84 (Chapter 6: Into Action — Steps Eight and Nine, and The Promises)

Step Nine is the step people fear most — and the one that, once completed, most people say they wish they had done sooner. The anticipation is almost always worse than the reality. I have watched people walk into difficult conversations convinced they would be destroyed, and walk out lighter than they had felt in years. The Promises of the Big Book appear in the middle of Step Nine for a reason: this is where they begin to come true.